Ask anyone. Bigfoot is alive and well and roams naked throughout the Pacific Northwest, scaring campers and microblogging on Twitter.
The woods by the Molalla River near Canby Oregon are purported to be home to a Sasquatch family, with sightings as recent as 2006. Formal campsite reservations along the water are unavailable, but we ventured forth anyway and had a tough time finding a place to spend the night; the best turnouts were filled with Harley people flying confederate flags, and the “river patrol”—two bored and aggressive volunteer seniors in a pickup—dogged us for miles, preventing us from choosing a site arbitrarily not to their liking.
We were finally able to park near the highway and take a short hike to the rocky river’s edge with our chairs and snack table.
No sign of Bigfoot.